I Have A Drug Test Thursday!!
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I'm on DOC and I have to see them at 1 p.m. on Thursday. Today is Monday it's 9:28 p.m. and I just took methamphetamine and I took a dose this morning also I have taken about $30 worth of heroin today. Yesterday, the day before, and the previous Thursday I also took some. So I'm nervous because I know I should be responsible and not be doing anything but I just started a new job today and I start another job this week so I have 2 jobs on the line. I just bought a car today and I just got an apartment 3 weeks ago and just paid the rent $1,400. I can't afford to lose everything and everybody who's helping me, my two best friends, and everybody that has things on the line. I'm messing up and I really feel bad about it I don't want to do it anymore but at this point I'm scared and I understand I need to see medical mental help about my depression and mental illnesses, not resort to drugs. And I need to just flush out my system and take it as a sign from God that I don't need these drugs and what can I do to make sure my UA is clean on Thursday. My officers cut me no slack now so I'll do 30 days in jail and lose everything I have and everybody. Please help it's an emergency. I'll never do this again I promise to God!! I know I need treatment. I'm 21 and I don't eat much but I am thick I swear I'll drink nothing but water I won't eat it all work out anything I don't want to mess up what I have I'm so scared I wish I could control my mental thoughts and this addiction is evil even though I have everything together and I'm functioning that doesn't last forever and I'm losing myself before everybody else does again. Just once someone give me the answer!!??
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